The Signs Of Childhood Emotional Neglect

Childhood emotional neglect can show up in your life in 15 ways. Contrary to belief, we may think some signs are “proof” that we didn’t experience childhood emotional neglect, when in fact, they are proof that we did.

What creates emotional neglect? When a parent doesn’t meet a child’s attunement needs. The child’s attunement needs are often repeatedly ignored, or their feelings are invalidated. As loving parents, we may say we love our child, and although we say it, children may not just know that we love them. For our children to not feel emotionally neglected, they require focused emotional attention. The best way to describe that is the ability to, as a parent, defer your life stress, relationship problems, addiction problems, emotional problems, everything that we adults usually struggle with, and be entirely emotionally present for your child. Basically, “Hey, I’m here for you.”

Let’s be honest, most of us parent with other things on our minds. We’re constantly multitasking. We’re running businesses, pleasing our spouses, were feeding the dogs, and doing all these things where we are just dragging our kids along. So then the attention is no longer considered focused attuned attention, more like co-opted attention or multitasking attention. That contributes to the feeling of emotional neglect. Our children are a partial thought and many times…